It’s the day after the election and all I can bring myself to do is write a blog post. Which, honestly, is new for me, and probably represents growth. As a Highly Sensitive Person, strong feelings like this used to immobilize me. But I think I’ve spent 8 years making sure that what happened to me in 2016 wouldn’t happen again.So here we are again, 8 years later. I’m feeling all those strong emotions again - anger, despair, heartbreak, not as much shock this time but definitely surprise (foolishly? Who knows, but I refuse to let go of hope). And there is also a different feeling beneath it all - one that is stronger, deeper, less fleeting, more permanent, and more useful - resolve.This time feels different, perhaps because my perspective has changed and also because I’m more resilient now. I of course stayed up late last night feeling more and more dejected, and woke up this morning to the worst possible news, and just woke up from a nap because it has all been exhausting. And yet. I can’t help but see the small moments of love and beauty today. The election has been a strange reminder of what matters most to me. And a reminder of where I need to focus. I feel a new energy - one that has been missing the last few months. Is it from anger? Maybe, and if so, great. Anger can be a really useful feeling when we put it to good use.
The relationships I hold dear, my community, love, connection - that’s what matters most to me. Last night I happened to be in a somatics coaching class (what a turn of events from when I was in a graduate finance class the evening of the 2016 election). We were working on our commitments, commitments that come not from our heads but our hearts and bodies, and declaring them out loud. They were statements about who each of us is becoming in order to serve the world in whatever way we are being called to. That was the best possible place to be - a reminder of the folks doing the work, people who bring me hope. And it likely prepared me to not spiral today. For that I am grateful.
In class, I discussed the concept of hope with a fellow coach. I was talking about trying to protect myself from what eventually ended up happening, and was wondering if it was foolish to have hope. She shared a powerful idea with me - that hope is not about wishing for a certain ending or outcome. It’s the means to get where we are going, an attitude that things can get better, a choice to see the good. That’s the kind of hope I’m trying to lean into today. Even on a terrible day like today, where I can feel the negative energy in the air, I’ve witnessed these little moments of hope:- Texts from friends, family members and colleagues asking how I’m doing or sending love
- A wave from a neighbor
- My sweet dog, Bailey, napping next to me (with no idea or care about what’s going on in the world - so rude)
- The energy I feel fueling the fight in me
- Ironically, the beautiful weather today - life contains multitudes
- Empathetic and caring colleagues who chose to reschedule meetings today, to give folks time to process and rest
I was lucky enough to have an acupuncture appointment this morning. I told my acupuncturist how I was feeling - devastated but also clear about what’s important, and how different that was from before when I felt immobilized. She said she refers to that as “staying sober” - not getting sucked into the negativity and spiraling but also not leaning into toxic positivity and pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging that things are incredibly shitty but staying in my own lane and moving forward in the way only I can. That’s what I’m trying to do right now. May we all try to find that lane and move forward, when we can.And the work I do - at times today it has felt too small, not enough, but I’m lucky to know that it has a real impact. Even if it’s for a handful of individuals and a handful of companies, it’s meaningful and that’s enough. When I think about all the people that voted out of fear and anger, I know they are suffering. There is a lot of suffering in this country. Every day I am working to change that - by building community, coaching people to bring their own commitments to life, helping companies realize their vision of a better world. And the greatest part is that I work with people trying to do the same thing everyday - all of you. So today, I’m grateful for you. Let’s resolve to keep going.Sending love, Rebecca 
