My first day of college when I was getting dressed for class, I rejected anything so normal and boring as jeans and a cute top. I wore baggy black sweatpants and a t-shirt I had stolen from my brother that said “Heavy Metal” with a grid of images of heavy metals - iron, lead, mercury, etc. I needed to make sure that everyone knew that A) I wasn’t like everyone else B) I didn’t care about clothes and C) I was very cool and alt.Pre-The Impact Collective, my professional background was in restaurants and startups - two drastically different working environments with two drastically different “dress codes”. My top priority working in restaurants was comfort and acceptance that the clothes would, eventually, get ruined. I had a pair of black pants I used to wear all the time that were riddled with bleach stains that I would fill in with permanent marker at the beginning of every shift.In the summer I would wear black shorts (also patched and repaired with permanent marker), comfortable and breathable cotton t-shirts, and a tie dyed bandana to keep my hair back. The only makeup I wore was glitter (that particular piece of the uniform remains unchanged to this day). During this job I started my MBA program at PSU. I was in the part time program, so still working full time and showing up to evening classes right from the restaurant. I was already chock full of anxiety and imposter syndrome, elevated by the fact that I showed up to class with cilantro in my hair and bean juice all over my shoes and everyone else was coming from Nike, Intel, Daimler - they all wore a hell of a different “uniform”.I was managing a spot in the Ecotrust building during this time. My district manager pulled me aside to have a chat about my attire - he told me that it was likely one day as I entered the business world I would be encountering a lot of these customers in a more “professional environment”. He said to me, “You don’t want these people to remember you as the tie dye glitter girl with booty shorts do you?”. At the time, I thought, “Of course not! That’s not professional!”. So, for the last few months of working there, I wore incredibly uncomfortable and supremely non-functional work wear to the restaurant.Shortly thereafter I got my first office job. No longer encumbered by worrying about bean juice and bleach stains, I would dress to the nines every day. Heels, tights, skirts, blouses. I was playing dress up. But I never felt comfortable, and it never felt like “me”. It was another series of characters I was trying on. “Playing grown up” when I didn’t feel grown up in the slightest.Then the pandemic hit, and I was unemployed. Black leggings and ratty t-shirts (these days covered in box hair dye because how else was I supposed to keep myself entertained). The Impact Collective was founded in 2020, and all I really needed were “Zoom tops”.In the last two years, as The Impact Collective has grown and we’ve come back in person full force, there are days where I’m still 15 years old putting on that rose gold dress, I’m 18 putting on that heavy metal t-shirt. At 37 I realized I still really hadn’t figured out how to express myself through my clothes. One of the main conflicts I recognized was the duality of feeling like clothes were extremely important, and that it was silly and vain and shallow to care about clothes. As we began hosting and attending more events, doing more in person client work, and generally showing up physically in our community, this struggle was really encumbering me.So, I decided to hire a stylist. My first step in research was to Google “Portland OR stylist reddit” - I no longer trust Google results or god forbid Google AI. I found a thread that led me to Scarlet Chamberlin. I made an appointment for a phone consult, and scheduled it for the day of the election, thinking that would be a good distraction. A couple of hours before the appointment I realized that had been a terrible idea and cancelled it. The following week I got an email from Scarlet about rescheduling - in it she mentioned having looked me up, and that she’d been interested in B Corp certification for awhile. Values alignment! We rescheduled for the next day.I’m rarely one to shy away from “real talk” in any scenario, but about a minute before I got on the call I started to feel anxious. Who did I think I was hiring a stylist??? Some kind of celebrity?? I also had no idea how much this was going to cost - hundreds of thousands of dollars probably?? Within minutes of getting on the call, Scarlet made me feel calm, safe, and confident in sharing all the emotional details of what led me to book the time.One of the main things that led me to move forward was the strong and immediate alignment on values. Local, sustainable, women and BIPOC owned brands are what Scarlet relied heavily on. I was able to share all of my fears and worries and anxieties - and have them validated and calmed. Scarlet shared two offerings - one would be focused on shopping (she has put a LOT of $ into local businesses in the last decade through this side of things) and the other was focused on shopping my own closet. I told her I did not need more clothes - I needed to know how to wear the clothes I already owned. I was open to purchases but wanted to focus on building from my own closet.The next step in the process was the intake form - the things I’ll mention here from that form are two questions that really resonated. The first was “How will you know our work together was a success?” - my answer was that after our session, I will not think about clothes anymore! I wanted to build a new uniform - one that felt true to who I was in this moment in time (not some version of a business woman I think I should be) and one that was easily “buildable”. The other question was “Who do you admire for their sense of style and why?”. I listed Kristen Cooper from Blackbird Benefits Collective and Minna Yoo from Love Bottle. And it wasn’t because of what they wore. It’s because every time I encounter these women, their unique senses of style seem to wholly express who they are. Their clothes are an extension of their selves rather than the other way around. And that’s what I wanted!A couple of weeks later, Scarlet came to my place for our appointment. It was both exhausting and exhilarating! She made me feel so comfortable and confident, and it was actually a lot of fun. We started mixing, matching, accessorizing. We also got rid of plenty of things that no longer (or, frankly, never had) felt like me. The “deliverable” was every millennial’s dream - a Cher from Clueless style outfit repository! You can see the outfits Scarlet put together for me in the “Lookbook” tab. She also gave me some recommendations for pieces that were missing from my closet, and took all of my parameters around values aligned brands into consideration.
Since the appointment, my goal of not thinking about clothes (not thinking about what to wear, not worrying about if it was cool enough or “me” enough, not randomly choosing an outfit and then feeling supremely uncomfortable for the rest of the day, not giving up and defaulting back to athleisure) has been met.This all reminds me of two things
I never wanted to worry about clothes because worrying about clothes is stupid and shallow! But I always wanted to have the right clothes, and I wanted those clothes to be cool but also to show that I don’t care about clothes! I care about serious and real things! But clothes are serious and real, and a huge part of this journey for me has been feeling more comfortable with myself and more confident about how I’m showing up in the world - and that bolsters me for the real work.Xoxo, Sarah
3/17/2025
