I’ve been reflecting a lot on why I especially feel this way in my work right now. We just finished B Corp month and Sarah and I just got back from B Lab’s Champions Retreat in beautiful Vancouver, Canada. The theme was Restore - admittedly, an ambitious theme for a large, week-long, jam-packed conference. And even if I didn’t feel restored at the event, the theme came through, because that’s exactly what I’m longing for right now. The conference made it clear that we need restoration - of the planet, of humanity, of our communities. And I’m noticing this juxtaposition - similar to the way my backyard looks right now and how I feel. We have a clear vision of what we want (restoration, an economy that works for all) and yet. And yet. My experience doesn’t always match the vision. There were lofty themes and ideas at the conference around collaboration, healthy conflict, empathetic listening, all the things I so believe in! But when I met folks, folks who are 110% committed to this work, who are doing the exact work I’m committed to doing, well…something was missing. I didn’t feel the empathetic listening we had been talking about and practicing during the sessions. It felt a bit like a game of Pong, really
A lot of talking at each other, not much listening to take one another in, to understand or be with another human. I listened to so many people share their stories. Was anyone going to ask me about mine? We all know to expect this at conferences, but I guess I thought this one would be different. Why did I feel so drained after talking to these amazing humans? Which reminded me of what I already knew to be true…the real work is deeper. We all know what we want to create but are having a hard time making it a reality. There is unlearning to do, and that doesn’t happen overnight. How can we actually embody the future we are trying to create? B Corp is great in terms of providing a framework, policies and processes for impact. But I was reminded of exactly why I decided to become a coach back in 2021. After years of doing this work, I knew that something was missing. We have to put the work into becoming the humans who can actually listen deeply to our stakeholders in order to build the stakeholder economy we dream of. It’s bigger than going through the B Impact Assessment. It’s bigger than going to a conference and practicing listening for one 45 minute session. That’s not going to lead to the transformation we need as a society. Because we have to transform individually first.I recently looked back at my notes from all the clients I’ve coached the last few years. Incredible people who I adore and believe in. You know what almost every single one said was lacking in their lives when we first started our engagement? Connection. These are humans dedicated to making change through their work, who feel a deep sense of purpose, and who care enough to hire a coach to help them do that. Almost everyone said they lacked connection. And that’s the vehicle through which we must create the change we want and so desperately need. There was also a nuance to this particular lack of connection - most of these folks were around people all the time in their day to day lives. Simply being in the presence of others wasn’t helping. And this conference reminded me of that - the feeling I had of being surrounded by people but still feeling isolated and alone.I KNOW the people I was surrounded by didn’t intend that. Their impact isn’t matching their intent. How can we begin to change that? How can we develop into humans who can actually BE with other humans? How can we bring a sense of connection to all our interactions, especially to the people who need it most? The ones who are doing the work to create real change? It amazes me in my consulting AND coaching work how often the answer to a problem or issue is - “Did you ask them?” or “Have you had a conversation with them?” And that’s the real work I’m up to - creating the spaces to have those conversations. And coaching people so they can have the capacity to have those conversations. Conversations where all parties feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. It’s not about simply talking or simply listening - it’s deeper than that.I’m feeling more committed to this work than ever. I think the way to heal the vestiges of the ice storm (real and metaphorical) is through true connection. If you want to talk about how to do that through the power of a coaching relationship, drop me a note.Rebecca
3/17/2025
